I’m sure you think I am going to talk about the show and how so-and-so got voted off, but they really shouldn’t have cause this other guy should have went, but America is stupid.

Don’t you realize they have a war in Iraq going on? I only talk about the important stuff.

Another contestant on American Idol, or what I will refer to as AI from here on, has some bad past that American news just cannot help but exploit. Contestant David Hernandez supposedly used to waive his wiener in a strip club. A male strip club. Which means he was dangling his dong in front of guys. Canoodling his canine in front of men. Dangling his Bojangles in front of the same species. You get the point.

Don’t worry all you AI fans, this dude is still on there. I am sure that if he gets close to getting voted off that he will just wave his schlong in front of Simon and he will change his vote to “GRANDE”. Get it.

If only this dude stripped for women, he may be my “American Idol”. But waving your floppy in front of other floppys, well that makes him the devil to me. Only because he claims to be straight and not gay. Which, I don’t care what kind of money I am making, I ain’t stripping for no dudes if I ain’t swinging their way. You feel me?

Now go and watch your stupid “I can almost sing” show, by the way Carrie Underwood will be my wife one day, and think about this dude humping and grinding on your best gay friend. I’m sure it will make the show even that much more entertaining.