It’s time for another list here at 12beersaday.com. My criteria for this list is as follows: whatever I deem cracked out, looks, actions, words, hair, it don’t matter. It’s my list, so sit back and enjoy.

10. Nick Nolte

I don’t even know if this guy is alive anymore. In fact, the only movie I really ever remember him in is Blue Chips, and I could be wrong about that as well. But let’s face it, when you have a mug shot that looks like you just tumbled down the Grand Canyon while chugging a bottle of Vodka, your probably cracked out.

9. Gary Busey

How is this guy not in an insane asylum? Not only is he freaking out some kid reporter who probably had to go to therapy after this incident, but he’s also freaking out other celebrities as well.

I think these two videos sum up Gary Busey. Words will do no good.

8. Chris Crocker

I don’t even know if this guy/girl/who gives a f*ck even counts as a celebrity. All this thing did was make a whole bunch of weird ass videos basically saying he wishes he was Britney Spears, or at least her vaginal area. Any guy who dresses up this way and acts this way and is this way, is cracked out beyond belief. Or at least I hope they are.

7. Steve-O from Jackass/Wildboyz

I don’t think I need to say anything to prove Steve-O has been doing crack off people’s backs since he was at least 8 years old. Half the stunts he does on Jackass and Wildboyz require you to have at the most 5 working brain cells or else you would think, “I probably shouldn’t do this, it is quite dumb”. Then this video pretty much shows that there is not a sober moment in this Jackasses life. God I love cable.

6. Tom Cruise

My how I miss the old Tom Cruise. The Top Gun, Days of Thunder Tom Cruise. Those were the good ole days where you could look up to an actor, or in Tom’s case down, and know he was always going to be someone you could count on. Then he jumped into that Scientology bull and off the deep end he went. If you watch Oprah’s face closely in that video you can see where she gets the point where she is like, “What the f*ck, what the f*ck am I going to do? I should really just push this chair out from underneath this Muthaf*cka and have him bust his ass. That will definitely make youtube.”

Hey, those are her thoughts not mine people.

5. That guy from Celebrity Rehab on VH1

Jeff Conaway is his name, and doing drugs is his game. This guy at some point in his life was in movies (Grease) and TV Shows (Taxi), but unless your my parents’ age you probably never heard of him. I know I hadn’t until VH1 created this masterpiece of a show. Let’s get a whole bunch of no name celebrities who are druggies and alcoholics and put them in rehab = Brilliance. I’ll be honest, without this crackhead on the show, there would be no show. The guy is so drugged out he was in the hospital having seizures after the 1st episode. I would not even watch if this guy wasn’t on it. I keep thinking he is just going to croak every time I tune in, but instead he just keeps flipping out and having these rage attacks. Just give him a line of blow and he will be fine. Just don’t tell Dr. Drew.

4. Michael Jackson

Poor Michael. He used to be famous, he used to own a huge ranch, he used to have lots of money, and he used to be black. When you can manage to go from a famous black man to a decrepit old white man, you make this list. Not to mention he has to be the least photogenic person on earth cause every picture he takes looks like he just saw Godzilla eat his next boy brunch.

3. Lindsay Lohan

First and foremost, do me a favor and look at Lindsay’s left ankle, that would be the ankle on the right side for all you college graduates out there. Need I say more?

I was going to put one of the nude Marilyn Monroe/Lindsay Lohan pics up for you, but this is a family site man.

I think Lindsay just got arrested again. Oh wait no, that was just her ankle bracelet beeping. I told her to stay out of the water.

2. Britney Spears

Look, even Britney’s crotch has taken to the 12 beers a day theme. I am almost an Internet Icon, now if only her face can follow.

Britney would be number 1 on this list any other year. She lost her kids to K-Fed of all people, has been married 5 times it seems, and she has been to a mental health facility. Rumors of rampant drug use have surfaced, and say she has experimented with drugs since her days on the Mickey Mouse club. Whatever happened to playing with dolls and playing dress up, kids just experiment with cocaine nowadays? Geez.

Somehow Britney is more popular in the paparazzi then ever before. She has done nothing but pop out babies in between her popping pills, how does that constitute stardom? At least she still has her dignity. Yeah, I know I’m joking.

1. Amy Winehouse

“They tried to make me go to rehab” and I said GO, GO, GO. Amy oh Amy. Supposedly Miss Winehouse is on every drug imaginable. She has even been interviewed after smoking crack, and ADMITTED it. Talk about a PR problem.

Amy is undoubtedly the most cracked out person, not just celeb, PERSON on the face of this earth. I am surprised she is still breathing. Before this year is up, Amy will have crack tank with a breathing mask, dragging it around, taking hits all day long.

By the way, she did go-to rehab. “Yes, Yes, Yes.”