12 beers a day

Most guys have a ratings scale that they rate women on. Some guys have a 1-10 scale, some have other ways of separating the haves from the have nots. Someone got me thinking this weekend about what my scale of women is, and so here it is, from worst to first.

Amy Winehouse is Boogly.

Boogly - This is another term for butt ugly. These are the girls that alcohol can’t even make look somewhat do-able. You will not, under any circumstance, allow your Johnson near one of these women. It’s not that God made them ugly, but they just do not seem to care about the normal things in life… like bathing.

Britney Spears used to be so hott, now, she is a skank.

Skanks - Skanks have reputations that precede them. It’s not that these women are ugly, annoying, or have diseases, they just are known for their random acts of sexual behavior with various men, thus making you more inclined to believe they have the clap. These girls you will most likely not talk to at all sober, but when inebriated, these women become your object of desire. Mostly because you have a good chance of banging a skank that night.

Jessica Simpson is very likable.

Likeable - These women are ones that you are extremely attracted to, yet there is something about them keeping them in the likeable zone. Maybe they smoke, maybe they have bad teeth, maybe they are dumb as dirt (ex. Jessica Simpson). There are several reasons guys keep girls in the likeable zone, different for every penis. Likeable girls can work their way into the next region by either correcting what the guys feel is keeping them here, ex. stop smoking, or by just hanging around long enough for the guys to get past that.

Megan Fox is the definition of dateable.

Dateable - These are the girls that tickle your fancy in every way possible. Your attracted to their looks, personality, sense of humor, everything. In your eyes they have no flaws. These girls differ for every guy. Some guys base this more on looks, shallow guys, and some guys base it on personality and wit. These women you would take home to momma, introduce to the family, and take to your high school reunion just to show her off and tell all those girls who wouldn’t tickle your wang in High School to bite your pale ass. Sorry, I had rough teen years.

Marissa Miller is the hottness.

The Hottness - These girls are the ones that walk into the room and every guy in the place takes a look and drools. They should be Victoria Secret models, (ex. Marissa Miller is one). Basically these girls are out of our league, and they most likely know it, causing most of these girls to be snotty and rude and sending them careening into the likeable category, even though they started out in the hottness category.

So there you have my ratings scale. I must say this is solely based on lies and deception and really I have no idea what girls fall into these categories. Attraction is a personal preference and differs for everyone. Every person has different tastes and different elements that they want in that certain someone, but my scale of boogly, skanks, likeable, dateable, and the hottness can be used to categorize them for everyone.