12 beers a day

Look at the picture. Look long and hard. That is the Jackson 5. A once talented musical group, with super talent Michael Jackson at the helm. They had hits. They had groupies. They had fans. They had money. They had it all. A family bond that only music could express, and also, tear apart.

We all know what has happened to Michael Jackson since his days in the Jackson 5. He blew up with Thriller, became known as one of the worlds greatest entertainers, did the moonwalk, amazed us with dance moves and jackets with 100 zippers. Michael did this to us. Then he went crazy. Allegedly anally raping molested children. Went from being a young black man to a creepy white dude. Hung his kids over balconies. Wore masks like he was playing doctor 24/7. Can you say psycho?

We all know the main Jacksons story, but what about the rest of them? I admit, I expected them to all be living out their days in some big mansion not having a care in the world besides their crazy brother. Boy was I wrong.

According to The New York Post the family is struggling, just a bit:

Joseph Jackson, 79 and Katherine Jackson, 77

Dad hustles various girl groups in Las Vegas. Mom is still a stay-at-home housewife and the only family member in contact with Michael. Both have previously filed for bankruptcy

Janet Jackson, 41

The current family breadwinner. She bought her mom a Vegas home in anticipation of losing the family’s mansion, Hayvenhurst, to foreclosure. Like their Neverland colleagues, workers at Hayvenhurst have not been paid for months.

La Toya Jackson, 52

Family turncoat who declared Michael guilty during the 1993 molestation case, she earns a living mostly in Europe and in the UAE judging beauty and singing contests. She lives with a wealthy boyfriend in Beverly Hills and has little contact with her siblings.

Rebbie Jackson, 57

The oldest, she’s married to successful businessman Nathaniel Brown.

Tito Jackson, 55

Formed a blues band several years ago and plays at small venues for $500 to $1,500 a gig.

Michael Jackson, 49

On the verge of losing Neverland ranch as well as the family’s Encino, Calif., home. He’s hiding out in Las Vegas and repeatedly makes promises to his brothers while sabotaging any attempts by them to ply their musical trade.

Randy Jackson, 46

Does odd jobs like changing tires to support himself. He was Michael’s business manager during the 2005 molestation trial but ran into serious problems with friends after he persuaded three people to take out lines of credits against their homes to help Michael pay his attorney fees and Michael stiffed them.

Marlon Jackson, 51

Lives in San Diego, where he works stocking groceries at a Vons supermarket. He fell on hard times three years ago when he was forced to leave his foreclosed home and move into an Extended Stay America hotel with his wife, Carol.

Jackie Jackson, 56

The oldest son started an Internet clothing business and is trying to produce records by his sons. Nothing has panned out.

Jermaine Jackson, 54

Splits time between the parents’ Hayvenhurst mansion and his girlfriend’s home in the San Fernando Valley. With more than $5 million in federal, state and other liens against him and a 1995 bankruptcy filing, he doesn’t work or have a regular income.

Now children, what have we learned from this? If you have a brother who goes insane, changing his skin color, and sleeping with boys under the age of 12, or at all really, shoot him. Shoot him dead. Or he will ruin your life. Any questions?