12 beers a day

Ladies and Gentleman I bring you father of year for 2008 in the form of, drum-roll please……….Josef Fritzl.

I don’t even know how to intro this story, but trust me, you will want to read this.

The Austrian father who imprisoned and repeatedly raped his daughter over a 24-year period planned the improvised dungeon six years before taking her hostage, police said Monday. Josef Fritzl, 73, imprisoned Elisabeth in the cellar in 1984, when she was aged 18, but police revealed that he had started planning the dungeon as early as 1978…

Fritzl had imprisoned his daughter Elisabeth, and then three of the seven children he fathered with her, behind eight locked doors. The final three doors were opened electronically by secret code, police told reporters Monday. Two of the doors were of reinforced steel, whilst an earlier entrance to the original cellar, not thought to have been used after Fritzl expanded the living space, was reinforced with concrete and weighed half a tonne, police said…

His complex familial set-up saw him father seven children with his wife Rosemarie, 69, whilst fathering seven more — one of whom died shortly after birth — with daughter Elisabeth, locked in the underground cellar. Three of those children were then fostered by the upstairs family. Fritzl told police Elisabeth had joined a religious cult and had deposited the babies with their “grandparents” for bringing up. The other three grew up entirely in the enclosed, windowless cellar.

How do people come up with this stuff? Do they just sit around doing acid uncontrollably for like 55 years and then all of sudden the ideas dungeon and rape my daughter sound good? I’m not even surprised really that some freak out there in the world would do this, but I AM surprised that his family was cool with it. I can imagine the conversations between him and his wife went something like this:

Fruitcake Daughter Raper(FDR): “Baby, I am bored. I think I am going to go down and sexually violate my 20 year old daughter with whom I have children with. Would you like to watch?”

Slutty Wife Who is Also Crazy(SWWIAC): “No, not tonight. I am a little tired. I think I am going to get little Johnny out the cage and make him rub my feet for at least 3 hours”

FDR: “Ok then. Well my incredibly small wiener is going to try and pop out 3 more kids with my daughter. I am just a semenator popping kids out with whatever family member I can get my hands on”

SWWIAC: ” OH FDR, you are such a riot. Ohhaahhaahhaaa.”

And that conversation was on a Tuesday. Imagine if it had been Freaky Friday. Imagine what the daughter and her kids/brothers/sisters have to be going through. 24 YEARS IN A DUNGEON!!! I’m no psychologist, but that could definitley F*ck you up.