Maxim has a man crush on Britney Spears
“I know I be sexy, give me a cheeseburger”
Maxim magazine is at it again, suckling on the teet that is Britney Spears.
Speaking of Britney Spears and her reformation, the songstress has successfully strutted her way back onto the Top 20 of Maxim magazine’s Hot 100 list — scraping in at No. 19. Seeing as though our gal didn’t even make the cut last year, we’re pretty proud of how far she’s come.
“… [Britney] still oozes genuine sexiness, and if anyone can make a comeback, it’s her,” a Maxim editor said.
These guys are brilliant when it comes to picking hot women. I know I sure ’nuff am attracted to overweight, chain smoking, kevin federline banging women throughout earth. I think the man over at wwtdd put it best with this quote.
According to Maxim, she’s the 19th hottest woman on earth. By comparison, Mila Kunis from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” is number 81. That’s right. Britney is 4 times hotter than Mila Kunis.
That my friend, is blasphemy. Mila even has the decency to show her boobs to us in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, which is a step up from Britney’s patented crotch shot, or as we call it in the streets, “Showing her Britney to us”. I can think of way more then just 18 women who are hotter then Britney, including my attendant at the gas station last night who sold me a losing lottery ticket. Who is picking these lists? Deaf and Blind children? Give me a 100 names in a hat and let me pick them out with my balls after dipping them in wax, and I can do a better job then putting Britney at 19.
At least the top 10 is decent. Or is it?
- Marisa Miller - SO F’N HOTT.
- Scarlett Johansson - Hott, but not number 2 hot.
- Jessica Biel - After her wet underwear scene in Chuck and Larry, I fell in love.
- Eva Longora - Eh, she married Tony Parker, married people not allowed in top 10.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar - She is still around?
- Elisha Cuthbert - She, my friend, is definitley a top fiver. Number 2 in my book.
- Eva Mendes - Way hotter after her opening sex scene in “We Own the Night”.
- Christina Aguilera - She is very sexy, and can wail on the mic.
- Lindsay Lohan - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. No Maxim, bad Maxim.
- Ashley Tisdale - I had to look this chick up, and she made the top 10. Not cool.
No Megan Fox? Halle Barry? Jessica Alba? All three of this trump at least 3 of those other chicas who made the top 10. I am starting my own magazine, with nothing but what Maxim prints, only mine will be awesome and correct.
