Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo throw in the towel
This story broke yesterday and still has no proof from either party involved, but for my fantasies at night I am going to assume that these two are partying in splitsville.
According to US magazine, partying in splitsville can be quite hard on the liver…
The 27-year-old singer was so out of it after a four-hour session of drinking at L.A.’s Mexicali Cocina Cantina on May 10 – which started at the pre-happy hour of 4 p.m. with BFF CaCee Cobb and her beau Donald Faison – that she was reduced to leaving her Range Rover in the parking lot and calling her mom Tina for a ride home (for good measure, CaCee Cobb threw up under the table); that same night, Us Weekly also reports that beau Tony Romo partied solo in Chicago and was overheard telling friends he was single again.
Where is my invitation to all this break-up drinking? I am a great rebound. You don’t even have to call me afterwards, or cuddle, just one and done and I am on the road until next time. Although there is always a next time because I like to go down on girls, and punch them in the taint! So they never ask me to do it again. (Yes, I stole that from Dane Cook, bite me.)
We all know Hollywood relationships never last so this is no surprise. How Tony put up with Jessica for this long is beyond me. “Is it chicken or tuna” or whatever the hell that saying was on that show that once was is all I needed to know that this chick better be a great cook (AKA give great head) or she ain’t lasting in my book. Nick never called me back to answer. Douche.
