12 beers a day

“ATTENTION ALL INCOMING FRESHMAN. IN ORDER TO RECIEVE YOUR FREE IPHONE PLEASE COME TO THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE BEFORE FRIDAY AND PLEASE HAVE YOUR ID READY. FOR YOUR FREE ITOUCH PLEASE COME TO THE REGISTRARS OFFICE BEFORE NEXT TUESDAY, ALSO WITH YOUR ID.”

That is an announcement similar to the one that incoming freshman at Abilene Christian University will be hearing next fall when the fresh meat arrive on campus. The small college in Abilene, Texas has decided to give out these free electronic devices, based on education.

It seems as though the University conducted a study in 2007 about the educational uses of the two products and found more then 15 reason a student should have one. Some of those reason are “homework alerts, in-class surveys, directions to classrooms and offices, and meal balance information, just to name a few.”

So for all you youngsters out there looking for a new iphone, but your parents just keep telling you to get a job or sell some crack, but your to lazy, here’s your opportunity to get one for free. Well almost free. There is that small cost of tuition, then housing, let’s not forget food, and the main reason for money in school….drinking.

Then again if you do go to school there and you really get desperate for green, you could always sell that junk on eBay. FREE DRINKS ON THE KID WITH NO IPHONE!!!

If I was a senior at that school I would be PISSED. I just went through 4-8 years of school at this hell hole and all I got was a frickin’ piece of paper?! Where is my damn apple product?! Huh?!

Yeah, seniors. Dummies.