12 beers a day

These two women were recently kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight for no apparent reason according to them, they were just too hot.

According to one of the young ladies, there was an altercation with someone who was in the bathroom and when she came back and sat down in her seat, the flight attendants only questioned her.

“I think they were just discriminating against because we were young decent-looking girls. I mean, nobody else on the plane looked like us except us,” she said. “[The flight attendants] were like older ladies. We were younger. Who knows, they could have been just jealous of us because we were younger.”

So basically the older skanks who were working the flight got jealous of the young unwrinkly women and decided to straight up diss them.

Why couldn’t they just settle this like they did back in the good old days, with breakdancing. Hot girl on the left could bust out in the robot, while hot girl on the right could take her top off. Then if they got kicked off of the flight, at least I would have a vision of a girl with her top off, and let’s be honest people, that’s what life is about.

I have a new slogan for Southwest:

Women with they belly button in between they boobs - them crazy bitches always fly Southwest.

I meant to use THEY by the way. So back off my grammar.

You know when your out at the bar and you just finished your 15th shot of patron, because your a baller, and you just get that feeling in your tummy like you could eat a cow.

Well now you can, at least if you live in the Detroit area. A restaurant called Mallie’s Sports bar and grill has created a massive 134-pound burger. No, that’s not a misprint, it weighs as much as my penis.

It’s called the “Absolutely Ridiculous Burger” and it comes on a 50-pound bun. I just want to see what the hell a 50-pound bun even looks like. That’s alot of dough, you could feed 4 villages in Africa with that bread.

It cost $350 bucks and you have to call at least 24 hours in advance to order the massive meat moat of mooey madness.

That just goes to show you that Americans are the most wasteful people on the face of the earth. Who in the hell would want to order a $350, 134-pound burger, with a 50-pound bun.

I think I just heard Rosie O’Donnell bust her door down. RED LINE TO DETROIT NIGEL!!!!