12 beers a day

I am going with an NFL theme this week, mostly because I love football and my Atlanta Falcons are in a hunt for a playoff birth. The Falcons are in the NFC South division, along with the Tampa Bay Bucs, who have Jeff Garcia at QB, who is married to the Hottie of The Week, Carmella Decesare.

Carmella Decesare is a former playboy model and WWE Diva and she is f’n banging. I hope Jeff Garcia and his lisp talking ass will tell me how he pulled such a fantabulous woman and let me in on his secret, so one day I too can hook up with a playmate. I’m hoping for Kendra, that bitch is FINE with a capital FINE. Without further ado, I bring you Carmella Decesare.

I have never ever ever heard of Girls Aloud. Never in my life have I been laying in bed and wondered what the band, Girls Aloud, sounded like. Then I came across a picture of the group Girls Aloud, and I got Loud for the Girls. They like the all white version of the Pussycat dolls, minus the words pussy and cat and dolls. I imagine a huge lesbian orgy with the five of these girls and me in the corner just staring with night vision goggles. I just had to show them some love and make them my hotties of the week, and also my weekly masturbatory thought. Sorry Britney.

Boobs. Tits. Fun bags. Melons. Jugs. Whatever you like to call them, they are possibly Gods greatest gift to women. They just sit there and scream motorboat me. Instead of picking one Hot famous woman to pick as hottie of the week I decided to dedicate this post to boobs. At least boobs that I can show on this website.

She is dating D-Wade right now, and she is one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood. She also did Bad Boys 2 which kicked ass. You can catch her in the new Neyo video and her next upcoming movie is a movie called “Cadillac Records”. Now sit back, take off your pants, and jacket.

Eva Mendes is this weeks Hottie of the Week. She has starred in films such as Hitch, Training Day, and We Own the Night, the last two in which she got naked, so therefore she is a winner in my book. She is also hispanic which means she would be a freak in the sack. I can remember that one time where she scratched my back so hard, it made me meow.

Mila Kunis is an acctress who has appeared in shows such as “That 70’s show” and “Family Guy” and also appeared in hit movies like “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, which I highly recommend for 2 reasons. 1. The movie is F’N hilarious. The guy Russell Brand, the dude who hosted the MTV movie awards, is actually funny in it. 2. Mila Kunis shows her boobies. Ok. That’s reason enough right there. Who am I kidding?

Hottie of the Week this week is Emmanuelle Chriqui. For those of you who don’t know her, she play Sloan on one of my favorite shows, Entourage.

Not only is she hot, plays on a great show, hot, she is also totally in love…with me. She just doesn’t know it yet, but you can mark it down. Once she gets a load of me oiled up and butt naked hugging a duck, it will be an unforgettable liason between two rabid lovers.

Willa Ford - I want to be bad. Have you seen this video? Well you will, after the scorching hot pictures of this amazing girl.

***Ed. Note - Google Willa Ford and go to images for boobies. I can’t but nudity on my site, something about regulations with webhost. I must abide. Do IT!!

Anywhere, anytime, anyplace would be this girls mantra. And I would be her mantra minus the tra. Get it? Figure it out.

When I wake up in the morning and the ‘larm lets out a warning, I don’t think I’ll ever make it on time. By the time I got my books and I give myself a look, I’m at the corner just in time to see the bus slide by…

But hey, it’s alright, cause I’m saved by the bell…dun dun dunnnn dun dun dunnnn

If the teacher pops a test, I know that I’m a mess and my dog ate all my homework last night. Riding low in my chair, she won’t know that I’m there, if I can hand it in tomorrow it’ll be alright.

It’s alright, cause I’m saved by the bell…by a hottie…named Tiffani Amber Thiessen. I think this was the first girl I had a pornographic fantasy about, and now that she is older, you know she has been around and learned a couple tricks on the road to sexual freedom.

In honor of the Olympic games and the numerous hot girls that are competing at the games, the Hottie of the Week segment is going to include not one hottie, but two. On top of including two beautiful women for me to imagine having group sex with, they are also twins. So now not only does my threesome come true in my head, but I also can check sisters and twins off the in my head fantasy list as well. I bring you Brazils own Bia and Branca Feres.