12 beers a day

When I go to the gym, I set the pace at 2.0 and glide all the way to skinnydom. Not really. But I sure as hell don’t put it on hyper “hit the wall” speed.

I bet his girlfriend was pissed when she logged on to youtube to find her shaking her badonkadonk in her ugly panties on the internet. I gotta admit, I can’t see her face so it could be quite ugly, but I’d let her hula on my willy.

Probably the greatest line ever in song history is: “There’s semen in them tissues…. they stand up by themselves!!” Priceless. And if your dad has ever walked in on you hammering the goat rope, I hope you finished.

I am so glad I found this product. I had it overnighted to me just in time for graduation weekend at the local watering hole here. I am hoping to bust out these newly mastered moves this coming up Friday night. Although they did leave the “butt clap” and “booty chatter” out, but it will stil be well worth the looks and lays I’ll be getting this weekend.

This is a news story about a police officer who took pot off someone he was questioning, baked it in some brownies, and then thought he was dying. Amazing stuff.

It’s the “chocolate rain” guy rick rolling your ass

I want to do this. Only with me, I want to be drunk, in a bar, with drunk people, and a video camera. How awesome would that be? Chandler in a mascot costume with a HUGE head…hilarity ensues.

This is a hilarious video. For some reason I can’t find it on youtube, but I have a link for it.

CHECK OUT THIS HILARIOUS VIDEO HERE!

Make sure you have speakers turned on, or you will miss out on the funniest part right at the beginning. Let me what you think about it. I thought it was damn hilarious.

I feel like being really random today. By really, I mean, totally. Like real world fights random. I just got a bump on my noggin random.

I need ideas for videos people. I am a people pleaser, and an entertainer, and I want to kill two birds with one stone. So here is what you faithful readers do, all five of you, submit video ideas. Any video ideas, well, except kiddie porn, that be nasty. You can email me, you can snail mail me, you can call me, I don’t care. Just get your ideas in.

The NCAA basketball contest is in full swing. Right now, it looks like I am going to be paying some lucky bastard $40 big ones. That blows.

I never knew that women’s basketball had so many hotties. I’m partial to the blondes.

Amy Winehouse used to be normal looking. Kids, this is the before crack and after crack photos of her. Stay off drugs. For Santa.

Who is a music fan? Who likes movies also? Guess what I have for you. Nothing really, except that there is a movie coming out about John Lennon and his death. Basically it chronicles the life of the man who shot the legend. I never would have IMAGINED they would have made this into a movie. Like my play on words there Lennon fans?

And last but not least, enjoy this lovely video of a man singing about people. And yes, He is most likely going to hell.

This is pretty much my theme song if I ever get a girl trying to say that I have a kid with her. Don’t be acting like you can pull a fast one on Chandler now. No ma’am. That baby don’t look nothing like me. Nothing.