12 beers a day

http://view.break.com/577249 - Watch more free videos

Thanks to Tasty Booze for the video.

Scarlett Johansson, along with her boobs,and Ryan Reynolds tied the knot this weekend near the Canadian city of Vancouver. Do marriages in Canada actually even count?

The couple began dating early last year after Reynolds split up from singer Alanis Morissette. “Isn’t it ironic, don’t ya think?” That means they have dated almost 10 years in celebrity years. I look for the marriage to last 2 years before Scarletts boobs become bored.

Now, normally I would not write about nonsense like marriage and what not from hollywood celebs, but this gives me a reason to post some pictures of Scarlett and her cleavage, to which I am in love with.

“I’m down here!!!”

DON CHAVEZ - SFW (Safe for work) Porn - Just watch it. It’s hilarious.

Uncoached - 2008 Playboy Model of the Year.

Blog of Hilarity - The 8 worst real life jobs of video game characters.

College Candy - Why every woman should be having one night stands. - Written by a girl, so don’t blame me.

Tasty Booze - Flaming shot Fail.

Asylum - The $900 boom box on wheels.

The picks are coming a little bit late this week because I forgot there was a football game scheduled for Thursday night, and boy, was there a game. The Oregon St. Beavers who looked like one of the worst teams in football the past couple of weeks, beat the #1 ranked USC Trojans, who everyone had already scheduled to play in the National Championship game. AND THAT’S WHY THEY PLAY THE GAME! I’m gonna pretend that I called that game and give me a W for it. I know, I know. I won’t.

I now have a winning record of 10-7 for the year and look to continue my hot streak with this weekends picks. GET ‘em while their hot son!

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Oklahoma over TCU SPREAD -18.5 - Oklahoma wins this game by at least 2 tds, probably more. They are to talented of a team to let TCU come into town and beat them. Oklahoma will be #1 next week.

Georgia over Alabama SPREAD -6.5 - Alabama has only had one game versus a decent team, and that was a drubbing of Clemson in week one, who has not looked good in their other games. Georgia does not let their weapons go to waste, and this week will be no different. Knowshon Moreno will get his touches and make at least one big play to lift UGA to victory. It will be close, but UGA at home, with that defense, wins a close one.

Penn State over Illinois SPREAD -16 - Illinois will cover the spread, but Penn State will win the game. Juice Williams cannot handle the load by himself, and he hasn’t had much help in the backfield. Going against Linebacker U, he will need someone to step up and take the pressure off him. I think the White Out helps scare Illinois and Penn State gets the W.

NFL GAMES

Green Bay over Tampa Bay SPREAD +1 - Tampa Bay should have lost last week to Chicago, but got lucky. Aaron Rodgers has played very well thus far this year, and I don’t think the Tampa defense will faze him too much. I like Green Bay to win by 10.

Atlanta over Carolina SPREAD +7 - Sure the Falcons have beat no one with a win, but they played Tampa very well and if it wasn’t for a bad first half and failing in the red zone, would have won that game. Carolina is a very talented team as well, but I think Atlanta will use this as their statement game and come out with more energy then the panthers. I like ATL by a field goal.

Pittsburgh over Baltimore SPREAD -5 - Baltimore is undefeated. That’s right. They have a rookie qb and rookie head coach. This is the week that Flacco gets acquainted with a real NFL defense. Pittsburgh will bring blitzes from everywhere to rattle the young QB and force turnovers. If Flacco can protect the ball, Baltimore has a shot, but I like Pitt by a TD.

Revenge by my definition is, you screw with me, I will screw with you…twice as hard. Thanks to this new site, Revenge Crabs, I can now get you back with an itch.

Original article here, Revenge Crabs is website that offers “crabs” that will infest your cheating ex and make her wish she would have never slobbed on your best friends cob. Packages range from a single colony for $99 to a shampoo-resistant colony for $298.

If I am willing to spend $298 to get back at someone, they must have really dicked me over.

Each package comes with the colony of crabs, a detailed instruction sheet on the best way to pass the crabs on and bottle of anti-crab shampoo in case of accidental “self-crabbifying.”

Thank God they give me a bottle of anti-crab shampoo. Usually I just poor diesel fuel on my balls, but  I always practice safe crabbing when wondering about.

This is probably the single greatest revenge website I have come across since that one where I can post videos of me banging my ex on the internet and everyone else can see. I have to say that I would feel justified if someone did me wrong, and then I gave them crabs, without having to sleep with them. What a joyous feeling.

I really just wanted an excuse to post this picture. Now excuse me, where is my lube?

The Girls Next Door girls have been in the news lately, and it’s not for getting Hef hard. Kendra is the latest one in the news, with a rumor swirling around that she is engaged to Philadelphia Eagles Wide Reciever Hank Baskett. Now Kendra is a hot girl, I figured at least she could pull T. O. or something, at least better then a 4th string WR.

Holly was the first one in the news with a rumor about her leaving Hef to date goth magician Criss Angel, who seems to have a disease called: banging hotties. Holly is the ring leader of the group, the one who is the mad cat that thinks she controls Hef. She is the ugliest in my book as well.

The one that stays out the news and seems to have the nicest, sincerest personality, and nicest real boobs, is Bridgett. (See all three topless here.) Also according to WWTDD, Bridgett wants to get laid like no other.

More importantly, according to the person I talked to, Bridgett “wants to fuck in the worst way”, because she hasn’t been laid in years.  She knows she’s not really Hefs girlfriend, but she’s too nice to sleep with someone else.

Oh please oh please oh please….. MORE LUBE!!!

Someone, somewhere, told me an election was happening this year. Now, I do not know a damn thing about politics, but, I do find this funny.

“We love 12 beers a day. WOO!”

God I love camel toe.

So my record for the season thus far is a whopping 5-6. Again, my pics are straight up, but I list the spread for all you gamblers out there. I usually bet, but usually do teasers, so I don’t really use the spread all that much, unless I add 13 points to it. Anyway, on to my picks for the weekend that are sure to be golden.

COLLEGE GAMES

LSU over Auburn SPREAD -2.5 - Auburn scored a total of 3 points last week agains Miss. St. They are struggling right now in their offense and LSU has a great Defense every year. I think this game comes down to a field goal.

Georgia over Arizona St. SPREAD -7 - Everyone is making this game out to be a huge game for the bulldogs, but I am not that impressed with an Arizona St. team that just lost to UNLV last week. Knowshon and Stafford will be too much for the Sun Devil D, and that dawgs defense is playing at a very high level early.

FSU over Wake Forest SPREAD -4.5 - I like FSU in this game, only because they are playing at home and have better athletes then Wake. I would not be surprised if Wake pulls the upset though, but I think the home crowd will be too much for them.

NFL GAMES

Atlanta over Kansas City SPREAD -5.5 - Two words for you: Tyler Thigpen. Who? Exactly.

Philadelphia over Pittsburgh SPREAD -3.5 - Is Philly the 2nd best team in the NFL? After their show vs Dallas, I’m beginning to lean that way. McNabb and Westbrook will be hell for the Steelers defense and the Eagles may knock Roethlisberger out of the game.

Dallas over Green Bay SPREAD -3 - Dallas is the best team in the league right now. Their Defense has not been impressive, but Romo to T.O. has been. Aaron Rodgers gets his first L as the Packers starter.

Mila Kunis is an acctress who has appeared in shows such as “That 70’s show” and “Family Guy” and also appeared in hit movies like “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, which I highly recommend for 2 reasons. 1. The movie is F’N hilarious. The guy Russell Brand, the dude who hosted the MTV movie awards, is actually funny in it. 2. Mila Kunis shows her boobies. Ok. That’s reason enough right there. Who am I kidding?