12 beers a day

You know what’s great about the Internet? Free music. You know what’s even better about the Internet? Free music that has not even be released yet to the radio stations.

The band Coldplay has released their first single from their new upcoming album “Viva la Vida” on their website coldplay.com. The single is titled “Violent Hill” and it’s not due out to sometime in June I believe, which is the same time the album drops.

Why can’t all bands do this? I think they should just release new songs every month until the album comes out. It’s all about the music right? Not about the money, or the fame, or the hot chicks flashing their gazongas around stage catching my attention like a lizard on a bun cake…right?

In other news, I’m a rock star. Show me your boobs.

I personally have never watched a full episode of The Hills, but I do find LC incredibly attractive and could probably bring myself to at least watch this show for 3 minutes, just to spark my creative fantasy side. I personally feel this whole show is scripted and staged, and this pretty much proves my point.

If Heidi, who has less talent then my left testicle, and LC, so hott, really and truly hate each other with the disdain that a fat kid hates salad, how in the hell did they come together for a Rolling Stone photoshoot? Exactly. I just racked your blond brain and now you can’t handle all the epiphanies being sent your way by your medulla oblongata.

**Side Note - What ever happened to Kristin Cavalari from Laguna beach? Wasn’t she the slutty popular one that everyone just knew was going to end up in porn? Kristin, if you ever read this, and you need a job, I got you babe. $5 bucks with your name on it. High dollar for a high class piece of ass. Skanks!

I am so glad I found this product. I had it overnighted to me just in time for graduation weekend at the local watering hole here. I am hoping to bust out these newly mastered moves this coming up Friday night. Although they did leave the “butt clap” and “booty chatter” out, but it will stil be well worth the looks and lays I’ll be getting this weekend.

More The Dark Knight fundom - Check out the new trailer for the upcoming Batman hit “The Dark Knight” compared side to side with the original “Batman” trailer. Eerily similar, and highly arousing.

Sexman - Yes, Sexman, discusses his politcal viewson presidential candidates, starting first with Hillary “I have a ROD-ham” Clinton. By the way, Sexman, yeah, he is like a 12 year old kid with awesomely wonderific teeth.

Video game Grand Theft Auto launches today. Go buy your copy, bring it to my house, and then I will drink your milkshake.

That should last your for at least 5 minutes you pigmy bastard.

This is a news story about a police officer who took pot off someone he was questioning, baked it in some brownies, and then thought he was dying. Amazing stuff.

Are you a woman? Do you like chocolate? Do you want to bathe in the gooey goodness that is in the brown colored yumminess of choco-land? Are you postmenopausal? Do I have an opportunity for you then. British scientists are looking for a group of about 150 women who they want to eat chocolate everyday to aid in their study about whether or not this will reduce heart disease in women suffering from type 2 diabetes.

In related news, 12beersaday.com has recently hired a group of scientists for an experiment. Their goal will be to see how many alcoholic beverages must be consumed by a postmenopausal woman to get naked and do the humpty with someone half their age. Any volunteers milfs? Don’t deny your feelings ladies. I’ll give you some chocolate rain.

Time for celebrity gossip and celebrity envy. John Mayer seems to back in the dating rink. This lucky bastard has dated several Hollywood beauties that include Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt, pre-fatness. Now? Jennifer Aniston.

What is it with this guy? I mean he already plays the guitar which is like an automatic :LAY me” magnet for any hottie in the crowd, but instead he is out porking my dream girls. Not fair John. You know this guy has to have VD from all the vagina he has been carving out.

Supposedly they had lunch in Miami and then a lengthy dinner that evening. I would love to see this guy on like Rock of Love 3 with a bunch of trailer park queens vying for the first chance to slob on his knob. I actually find John Mayer quite humorous, so this could be a real bread winner for VH-1. I should definitely write them a letter.

Music is the one thing in my life that I would probably go crazy without. I love it. Absolutely love it. You can find music to fit any mood your in and go with any situation. You want to get amped up before a game, throw on some tunes. You want to sit down in a dark room and cry all night because your mom just told you that you were a mistake baby, here is your soundtrack.

So here is my band for the week. The Format. Go listen to them, go rock out, go go go now.

The Format - She Doesn’t Get It

Thank God for speculation. Entertainment Weekly has released their list of what they think will be the highest grossing movies this summer. Now this is all a pure guess based solely on some guy who is sitting at a desk throwing darts at a board.

1. Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull (355.9 million)
2. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (310.8 million)
3. Hancock (280.4 million)
4. Wall-E (280.3 million)
5. Iron Man (267.7 million)
6. The Dark Knight (255.0 million)
7. Kung Fu Panda (244.6 million)
8. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (176.5 million)
9. The Incredible Hulk (147.2 million)
10. Tropic Thunder (146.6 million)

Chronicles of Narnia at number 2? Are you serious EW? And The Dark Knight at number 6?!? ERRONEOUS, ERRONEOUS!! I have to say it’s time EW changes their method of calculation, cause this is some major donkey ball bullshit. No way Chronicles of Narnia is the 2nd highest grossing film this summer. Wall-E at number 4? That movie doesn’t even have a single word of dialogue from the looks of the previews.

So in honer of this crap top 10 I give you 12beersaday.com non-educated guess on what movies will be the shiznit this summer. My wisdom is based solely on what movies I am willing to pay more then $8 bucks to see.

1. The Dark Knight

2. Hancock

3. Iron Man

4. Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull

5. Tropic Thunder

6. Wall-E

7.The Chronicles of Narnia:Prince Caspian

8. The Incredible Hulk

9. The Mummy: Tomb of The Dragon Emperor

10. Kung Fu Panda

I really would only have a top 5 cause I think the movies at the bottom half of that list are not even worth mentioning, unless they have boobs in them, then they shoot up at least 4 spots. So we shall see who was correct(ME) and who was incorrect(EW) at the end of the summer. Cock.

Hancock is the new Will Smith movie that will be coming out this summer. Will Smith movies are usually 3 things: 1. Funny 2. Awesome 3. MONEY MAKERS. No wonder he is probably the 2nd sexiest man on earth next to me. Here is an exclusive first look at his new move “Hancock”. By the way I just said cock like 3 times in this post, and you did not even notice. Turd.