Real Creepy News: This guy makes Hitler look like a Saint
By admin | May 8, 2008
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Ladies and Gentleman I bring you father of year for 2008 in the form of, drum-roll please……….Josef Fritzl.
I don’t even know how to intro this story, but trust me, you will want to read this.
The Austrian father who imprisoned and repeatedly raped his daughter over a 24-year period planned the improvised dungeon six years before taking her hostage, police said Monday. Josef Fritzl, 73, imprisoned Elisabeth in the cellar in 1984, when she was aged 18, but police revealed that he had started planning the dungeon as early as 1978…
Fritzl had imprisoned his daughter Elisabeth, and then three of the seven children he fathered with her, behind eight locked doors. The final three doors were opened electronically by secret code, police told reporters Monday. Two of the doors were of reinforced steel, whilst an earlier entrance to the original cellar, not thought to have been used after Fritzl expanded the living space, was reinforced with concrete and weighed half a tonne, police said…
His complex familial set-up saw him father seven children with his wife Rosemarie, 69, whilst fathering seven more — one of whom died shortly after birth — with daughter Elisabeth, locked in the underground cellar. Three of those children were then fostered by the upstairs family. Fritzl told police Elisabeth had joined a religious cult and had deposited the babies with their “grandparents” for bringing up. The other three grew up entirely in the enclosed, windowless cellar.
How do people come up with this stuff? Do they just sit around doing acid uncontrollably for like 55 years and then all of sudden the ideas dungeon and rape my daughter sound good? I’m not even surprised really that some freak out there in the world would do this, but I AM surprised that his family was cool with it. I can imagine the conversations between him and his wife went something like this:
Fruitcake Daughter Raper(FDR): “Baby, I am bored. I think I am going to go down and sexually violate my 20 year old daughter with whom I have children with. Would you like to watch?”
Slutty Wife Who is Also Crazy(SWWIAC): “No, not tonight. I am a little tired. I think I am going to get little Johnny out the cage and make him rub my feet for at least 3 hours”
FDR: “Ok then. Well my incredibly small wiener is going to try and pop out 3 more kids with my daughter. I am just a semenator popping kids out with whatever family member I can get my hands on”
SWWIAC: ” OH FDR, you are such a riot. Ohhaahhaahhaaa.”
And that conversation was on a Tuesday. Imagine if it had been Freaky Friday. Imagine what the daughter and her kids/brothers/sisters have to be going through. 24 YEARS IN A DUNGEON!!! I’m no psychologist, but that could definitley F*ck you up.
Topics: Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
Are you serious right now Disney?
By admin | May 7, 2008
Out of all the ideas that people pitch for movies, you would think that a rapping Chihuahua would be at the bottom of the pile. Nope, not for Disney. After the Miley Cyrus fiasco I guess they figured the yo quiero Taco Bell dog would improve their image. Not to mention bitch got mad flow like T.I..
Topics: Entertainment | 2 Comments »
Masturbation Songs are Fun
By admin | May 6, 2008
Probably the greatest line ever in song history is: “There’s semen in them tissues…. they stand up by themselves!!” Priceless. And if your dad has ever walked in on you hammering the goat rope, I hope you finished.
Topics: Funny Videos | No Comments »
Non-bootleg The Dark Knight Trailer
By admin | May 6, 2008
That’s right, I just fondled myself. And guess what other Batmanny goodness I have for you today? You guessed it yet? Now? Huh? Ok, enough already.
Everyone who knows about this movie knows that Harvey Dent turns into Two Face. The only question is, what will Two Face look like? Well here is what some believe is a leaked image of Two Face. It may or may not be real, but it makes me fanagle my gooch regardless.
Topics: Entertainment | 1 Comment »
Iron Man 2 already
By admin | May 6, 2008
That’s right people, Iron Man 2 will be coming to a theater near you sometime in the future of your ever dull life. Robert Downey Jr. will also be back to play the main character. You think them making nearly $100 million dollars opening weekend had anything to do with them signing up for a sequel? Hmmm.
I don’t know what the plot of the movie is in the first one, let alone the second one, but here is my assumption of what the plot will be.
Whatever the hell Ironmans name is will decide he is through with this hero crap and he wants to use his iron penis and iron balls to bang every Asian hooker throughout the world. While flying around in his indestructible Iron suit, he comes across this white powdery substance and snorts it.
Trust me, if you know anything about Robert Downey Jr., you would know he would nail that plot. I bet he has a tiny iron peter though.
Topics: Entertainment | No Comments »
Kids these days
By admin | May 5, 2008
Following this newscast the little kid was interviewed by me and here is the exclusive, just for my dedicated readers:
12b: So what do you do for fun?
Kid: I kill bitches, cause I be gangsta son. You don’t mess with t-bonez.
12b: I like your name. Do you have any “Hoes”?
Kid: Punkass, you my hoe, your mom’s my hoe, all them bitches outs in the skreets is my hoes. Cuz I be gangsta, and I will cut you.
12b: I had no idea you knew my mom. Small world. Is there any chance at all you will graduate from High School?
Kid: Is you kiddin man? I be out of school by next year, cuz if I ain’ts then I be takin lives. CUZ I BE GANGSTA BITCH!
The kid proceeded to pull out his plastic 9 and make gun shots in my general direction while stealing his grandma’s purse.
Topics: Humor | 4 Comments »
I want a 5 day weekend and 2 day work week
By admin | May 4, 2008
Sunday is a day for recovering for me. Great drunken weekends followed by long work weeks are not good combinations. Here is my weekend recap:
Friday - Started drinking when I got off work at Noon and did not stop till I was handcuffed by a cop on a power trip for picking up a plastic duck on the side of the right. What makes it that much better is I was right outside of my apartment complex, having almost completed the drunken journey home from the bar without falling or peeing on myself. Ticket given and remembered the next day: Charge with disorderly conduct-theft. Great one douche.
Saturday - Again, start drinking at noon, mostly because I wanted to forget I got a stupid ticket and it was my good friends graduation this weekend also. Did not stop drinking until I passed out in my bed. Once again, walked home, made sure not to touch a single thing, in fact walked with my hands tied into my pockets. Never again will I do the city a favor and pick up trash on the side of the road. No good deed goes unpunished I guess.
And here is your daily dose of laughter.
Topics: Drinking | No Comments »
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are Married
By admin | May 2, 2008
According to E online Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have had a secret marriage. Secret marriage huh? Doesn’t secret mean no one will find out, I won’t tell, keep it on the hush, be quiet, smush your lips together? Am I right? Have I asked enough questions for you to answer?
Nick Cannon is 27 and Mariah Carey is 39. When Mariah was asked about the marriage, she had this to say:
“Mariah lika tha way the dick taste”
Topics: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »