12 beers a day

I’m not one to judge. My top 5 rappers go something like Eminem, T.I., Lil Wayne, Twista, and Andre from Outkast, but these two guys may break out this summer and become the top 2. This video is also so high quality that I hear Spike Jonze calling out to the Gods for mercy on his soul because he could never produce something so Hi-tech.

Ladies and Gentleman, I introduce you to Flynt Flossy and Whatchyamacallit with their soon to be hit single - Stretchy Pants.

Thanks Tasty Booze for your heart and effort to bring that the the american people.

Oh and P.S. - No way in hell this becomes a hit.

Unlike most folks, I am more upset over the death of Billy Mays then I am MJ. Sure MJ had thriller, and gloves, and hair on fire, but Billy Mays was a man of the people. He only wanted to sell you something that worked. In honor of his death, holy taco presents to you 6 products that Billy Mays could have sold you on.

Check it here.

It was a harsh week for washed up celebs as 3 members of the once famous but now out of the public eye celebs passed away.

RIP Ed McMahon - Now who is gonna come to deliver my million dollar check from publishers clearing house? They need to get here soon, I gots bills to pay. You get 3 and 3/4 stars Ed.

RIP Farrah Fawcett - I don’t know how exactly you got famous, but you were quite the hotness back in your day. It was amazing to know your hair had not moved in almost 30 years.

RIP Michael Jackson - Its too soon for the Kiddie jokes but lets not fool ourselves, this guy was a bit off the deep end. Michael had great music and was truly a genious when it came to entertaining, but his off the stage exploits always made us wonder about him. But come on, the guy could moonwalk like a mutha f*cker.

For those of you living under a rock and not having an iphone with all the cool apps and shit you can do on it (that would be me included as of right now, but I may get the new one), you can officially now purchase apps with porn. I don’t know how quality the porn is, but it is nude girls, and I think its just pictures of nude girls, which cost $1.99. Now, I don’t know about you, but I have looked at porn on an iphone while in a bar using this thing called “the internet”. Now “the internet” is some amazing tool which not only lets you look up pictures of naked girls doing the hibbity jibbity, but also let you look up these things called, “moving pictures” or “movies” that have people doing things you would be ashamed to watch with your girlfriend. And that shit, my friend, is free. So if I catch any of my friends paying $1.99 for what I presume is just 2000 naked girls just standing there, I will pull their testicles out of the pants and feed them to a cat named puss. Buh-lieve that!

Thanks to tasty booze for the story.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes out today.

I felt like I needed to repeat myself. I have been waiting for this movie ever since the 2nd one ended and I have not been able to have my fill of Megan Fox and what I like to call, her Godliness. She is my water, my life, my reason for being. Ok, maybe not, but she is sure as hell f*cking unbelievably gorgeous and I can’t wait to see her kick some robot ass. I’m going on Thursday night, so hope for a review on Friday, though we all know this movie is going to kick some box office ass.

“Please oh Chandler, put your penis in my vagina”

Wow. She talks so dirty to me.

10:41 - Music gets me thru my days. I sit all day long and listen to Pandora or youtube videos that keep my head from going face first into my glass desk. So I have tried it before to give you guys some heads up on hot music for the week, so now I am back again. It’s gonna be a random occurence from now on, so don’t get on my back about it. Send in your top hits to me.

10:56 - Ever get drunk and think you have a shot with every person in the room? Well, here is a graph that tells you your chances per drink. 10+ and your outtie.

Check out the graph here at sloshpot.

10:22 - Nothing is better in life then girls who love to get drunk and make out in front of me. It happens once every full moon. The only thing that comes even close to giving me the adrenaline rush of actually seeing it happen, is pictures of it. So here is a whole gallery of it. And here is one more for the road.

11:00 - I love this show. What else is crazier then a lil bum f*ck town in Louisiana that has Vampires living amongst them? Nothing my friend, nothing. This show took me a little bit to get into, but now I can’t stop watching. For those of you who haven’t seen it, watch it on HBO, or you can go here and watch it and several other shows for free. Cast TV. I love the internet.

If for no other reason, just know that this show has lots of sex. Vampire sex. And Tits. What more could you want? Blood? You got it. No golden showers though….yet.

9:55 - So its Friday which means two things. 1. I will be going to see a Bon Jovi cover band tonight most likely which in itself = Awesome. 2. I’ll most likely be drunk and have to make a long journey back home, walking.

Here are some links I find funny.

That stripper or girl you are watching fellate me, that is somebodys daughter.

How to wake up your girlfriend for sex. I think my favorite is, look it’s a cute puppy, now lets have sex.

Now enjoy a picture of a hot girl on a toilet. I like to pretend she is just acting, because we all know females don’t really use the bathroom.

4:30 - Since I seem to be getting busier and busier and updating less and less I decided to branch out and try this twitter craze I hear so much about. I had an account but not much twitting, but now I have it on my phone so it should get interesting. Follow me at: http://twitter.com/12beersaday.

Let the good time roll. And her is a sexy girl for you. Cause I love sex. And I love girls. And I love you.

TELL ME YOU WOULDNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!